("Tasty-looking. Must chew, must have a taste!"). I run and catch her before she takes a bite and pick her up and put her back in the middle of the floor. She sits up to find a good next target. I turn around and she's already speeding toward the glass table to play with a table wheel ("Oh, I bet I could jam my little fingers right here..."). I go and put her back in the middle of the room and a moment later she darts off toward the music system wires so I rush to put her back in the middle of the floor. After about 10 times she finally starts crying and pouting as if to say, "You never let me do anyyyythiiing fun!".I'm such a masochist sometimes: I went back to school to get my driver's licence. We went with Erkki and we'll try to do it at the same time, so we'll both be newbie drivers together. I'm really anxious about it all. OH MY GOD, THEY WILL MAKE ME DRIVE A CAR!!!!
I'm trying not to over-think it and I shouldn't have to worry that much because this time I picked the school much more carefully. I have only had one theory lesson so far and most of the time I was trying not to think about actually driving because otherwise my heart skipped a beat. I'm pretty sure that when I'm actually driving, my body will have to find a way to get over the fear, otherwise my head would explode. Faced with a choice between relaxing and my head exploding, my brain will probably choose the first option.I think I'm too sensitive to adrenaline. I get really shaky when I'm startled, like some easily-scared old lady. Differently from old ladies, I appear to be an adrenaline junkie at the same time. Why else would I go back to driving school. I get shaky when I'm in a high place (e.g. glass elevator on a high floor) and I find it exhilarating and fun.
Most people love roller coasters for the same reason, and for me it takes much less stimulus to become very shaken. Giving a university lecture was truly scary, to be honest, but I never seriously considered declining the opportunity. Most of the time it's exhausting to be shaken very easily and to have so much adrenaline, but I wouldn't want it to keep me from living a full life. Perhaps that's why I often do things that I find really scary*. I find driving REALLY scary and I'm going back without anyone forcing my hand. I mean scary in the sense that even thinking about it threatens to give me a slight headache. Perhaps the sane thing to do would be to never drive again, but sanity is over-rated. Being able to achieve something that seems impossible when you start has much more value for me.*Except getting friendly with spiders! NEVER! Keep 'em away from me.
Nasty horrible icky eight-legged monsters.Everyday things keep me so busy that I barely notice that I get out so rarely. I usually use Erkki's help to go to the dentist or to the doctor with only one kid but that doesn't count. Going out with the kids doesn't count either because it offers me no sense of freedom.
I do go out with them when the weather is nice. All that "fresh air" (urban slang for pollution, dust and allergens) is great for children - prepares their immune system for life. Even going to a grocery store is like an event. It's usually not worth the effort to go to the store myself so I regularly just tell Erkki what I need. It's also not worth the stress to go to a restaurant with two small kids so I look up recipes to get some variety. Erkki has managed to make the perfect steak for us recently. As we found out, all the cooking websites that discuss it, say that a well done steak is inedible and a complete waste of perfectly good meat. We put it to the test and left the meat much more pink and it was incredible! Absolutely deliciously amazing, dark pink, almost red on the inside. I hadn't had a decent steak in a restaurant so it was the best steak in my life. But I was talking about not going out so often anymore. Erkki told me that restaurants in Tartu don't offer steak that good and I totally believe him. So I don't mind staying in. I feel comfortable here and I'm definitely too busy to get bored.Siiri is mastering long sentences. I hadn't really thought about it, but each sentence type has to be learned individually. "Mommy doesn't know, whether she wants it or not.". "This looks orange, but actually is pink". There is no logic behind such specific sentence structure. There's only experience and lots and lots of practice. It's been a while since she started saying simple long sentences "Apple is red and pear is green". Recognizing the second part of the sentence as the opposite is trickier. "It's almost bed-time, but Siiri doesn't want to go to sleep". Now that Siiri is becoming much better at expressing herself, she is more able to explain her thoughts.
Siiri really makes little difference between reality and fiction. She has a vivid imagination and when she explains events or plans, sometimes her plans turn into obvious wishful thinking. Like a couple of days ago - we were having a wonderful discussion about wings. I explained to her that wings are essential for flying "...Butterflies have wings and that's how why they are able to fly. Birds also have wings and are able fly. But people - do people have wings?". She said, "Yes, we do".
I said, " No, people don't have wings. Angels and faeries look like people, but they have wings. They can fly. People don't have wings. But can people fly?". Siiri said, "Yes, we can!". I said, "No, people can't really fly without a plane, or a helicopter, at least not outside the dreams. See that sewing machine on a really high shelf, barely below the ceiling. If I wanted to reach it, could I fly there?". She said, "Yes!". I said, "No, I would have to get a chair and climb higher to reach it." She said, "Mommy will get a chair and Siiri will climb higher and higher and higher (pointing at her planned route) and I will reach and get the sewing machine." Although I never brought her the chair and even I couldn't climb there like that, it was very clear that she was convinced that she could. I said, "It's too high. You'd need a stairway to get up there.". She said (while gesticulating and pointing), "Lets go to the playground and lets get the stairs off of the slide and then put the stairs here and then I can climb up-up-up and then get the sewing machine!". Nice plan!Liisa is just as gadget-crazy as the rest of her family and she likes anything that she can chew. I try my best to make sure that she doesn't combine her two interests. Her biggest wish in life (besides her mommy close by) is to taste my phone. Whenever I set my HTC Desire (big colorful screen) down anywhere near her she goes ecstatic, trying to get her hands on it without any delay. Siiri's favourite toy is still iPad and she often uses it when we're not in the same room. In the morning Siiri wakes up long before we do and then plays with iPad. She does tend to watch too many cartoons early in the morning, so I tell her to do "something else" after I have woken up. She sometimes draws or plays toddler games. It's oddly pleasant to notice when girls like boyish things. Siiri loves big machinery like tractors and other heavy farm machinery and heavy construction machinery. She knows all the cranes that were used on one construction site nearby ("And then they took the small blue-and-red crane away and then there was big yellow crane again"). One time we stood on a sidewalk (holding hands) for 10-15 minutes just so Siiri could stare at a crane. At that moment I felt really proud that she was so obviously girly with her bright pink winter jacket and so obviously happy just staring at a small yellow crane across the street.
