Sunday, June 30, 2013

Nannies Can Annoy

My life is so confusing lately that I gave up on analyzing it.  How do I  write about my life if I'm just drifting from week to week, just observing where life takes me. Usually I like to take an active role in it but for a while it was better not to analyze and just keep up with the fast pace of everything.

We wrote a review article in a peer reviewed journal.  That was super cool. At first it seemed impossible, then I started working on it and realized how much help I really need from other people on this project and it was discouraging. Then I tried to work super hard and it still seemed impossible, but only in the "super challenging and highly ambitious" way. Well, finally we did it. I feel kind of proud that we did it, but even more I feel grateful to other people involved, for compensating for my lack of experience with writing scientific articles. 

Our nanny issues are finally getting resolved. I haven't discussed them so much in here, but I have bitched about it to almost everyone I know.  So basically when I started going to work in September, when Liisa was 11 and a half months old, we had a hard time finding a babysitter that she would be okay with. We met with about 3 carefully selected people and then hired a nanny but Liisa didn't get used to her so we ended it and met with more candidates. Finally we hired a person who has a child herself and Liisa was friendly with her from the beginning. She has been the nanny for almost a year. During that time there have been small annoyances that get worse over time. Like having her kid stay over much longer than I liked, not using the safety belt of the swing outside our house, often surprising us with text messages that she can't come to work because of some good excuse.  The excuses sounded very solid but she missed almost one day per week. Nanny and Liisa didn't always make it outside even when the weather was nice and sometimes when I gave Liisa over in her pajamas (in our home), I returned several hours later and she was still in her pajamas. It was even more annoying to find Siiri still in her pajamas since she can dress herself if only someone gives her the clothes. And, weirdly, most annoying, I started to notice that she tried to butter me up on pay days. That's when the kids had their hair combed nicely and the floor had been wiped and then she even told me in a sweet-as-honey tone of voice, "Oh, I wiped the floor to make your life easier.". I should have probably been happy, and a part of me was, of course. But another part of me felt very tense from that amount of manipulation. 

Actually, even worse was her relationship with Siiri. I got the feeling that she didn't really get along with her. Siiri certainly didn't like the nanny very much. When we first started, we had a deal that the pay is the same, regardless of whether there is only Liisa or also Siiri. A couple of months ago it was already very clear that the nanny winced whenever she found out that Siiri was ill and would also be staying at home. The nanny then initiated a talk that the job is much harder with two children and perhaps I could consider a higher pay for the time when there are two children. Okay, maybe then she will make more of an effort to also pay attention to Siiri. I started to pay her 20% more for taking care of two kids.  Now her salary for minding two children was above regular fee for being a nanny. And you know what - it changed nothing. When Siiri started to cough and we told the nanny that Siiri is staying home (but they can still go outdoors if the weather is nice) the nanny TOTALLY winced! Then I thought, any pay is too much for that attitude.

I'm totally fed up with looking for nannies so in stead of looking for another daytime nanny, I applied for a private kindergarten place for Liisa and we got it. YAY!!!  Liisa can now go and play with other kids and there is no chance that she will be running around in her pajamas the entire day. She's starting right after our vacation, just before August. I am so relieved. 

Anyway, if you have small children, there are never enough nannies. We also have a nanny who sometimes takes care of the kids in the evening (during our Dungeons and Dragons game nights), but often cancels. She can sometimes come over when our other nanny cancels. We also have wonderful help from Erkki's parents with whom the kids (or at least Siiri) spend a night almost every week. I also have two sisters who live close enough to be able to help when all else fails during an emergency. And still we need another nanny or two. Right now I don't even dare to dream of taking up exercising again and we so often miss game nights and every week me and Erkki have to decide whether we spend our free night socially or just the two of us. We would like to do both, so we need more free nights, hence we need more nannies.

We interviewed a nanny candidate a couple of days ago and it was very promising. A 20-year old young woman, giving off really friendly vibe and was saying perfect things like, "my evenings are mostly free" and she looked delighted when I told her that we should make plans for next week.   It really seemed like she's a responsible young woman who would be really happy with a part time job that is mostly in the evenings and lasts for a longer time (not only until the end of the summer). If she had a family of her own, I'd feel guilty about robbing her away for evenings but now it seemed like it would be an ideal arrangement for both of us. 

I also have an update about kids but I'll leave that for the next blog post or this post would be too long to read casually.