Tuesday, July 16, 2013

They Get Better Over Time

It's time for a kid update. There isn't much new here for people whom I've already bored to death by talking about my kids but it has been a while since I talked about them in my blog. Siiri is 4.2 years old and Liisa is 1.8 years old and parenting is more enjoyable than ever. They are starting to play together and they are both very clever. Although they are sisters and raised in a similar way, they have very different personalities and skills. They both have their talents but Liisa is more of a physical people person and Siiri is an analytical numbers' person. Both personalities come with their unique challenges.

Siiri is very strong willed. She is very demanding and everything needs to be just how she likes it. She wants the right spoon given to her in the right way and wants to get her own porridge plate and doesn't allow me to open the box of cocoa powder and wants a new glass of bubbly water with a new straw that must be the right color and the straw must not be bent.  When she's in a good mood, she will forgive the "mistakes" and when she has just woken up and is still grumpy, and I make one "mistake" then she starts crying like it's the end of the world and wants me to "undo" the mistake by "putting the time right".  That's how she calls reversing time so that she can rewrite history. I can "put the time right" by making the kitchen timer or my mobile phone timer beep. I generally believe the parent to be superior to children so I let her make as few demands as possible so it ends up being a battle over little things. Erkki has much more patience for Siiri's moods and handles her tantrums better than I do, but I spend more time discussing the world with Siiri.

On the other hand, if that's the price of her superior intellectual abilities then it might be worth it. Her favorite game (except for iPad strategy game "My kingdom for the Princess") is "the number game", as she calls it. I give her a math problem and she answers it. It started out as "if I give you one apple and I give you one more apple, how many do you have?" and now we have reached "how much is three times three?" and she says, "Nine!". When she's well rested and feeling good, she can correctly, with no fingers and within 1-2 seconds, answer math problems like, 3+2, 3-2, 5+5, 5-4, 8+3, 100+300, 30+20, 50+50, 10+8, 50-50,19-1, 19+1, 15+2, 4+4, 0-0, 2*3, 2*2, 2*4, 2*5, 3*4. I know because she's nearby and I just checked most of them. Other skills include naming all the colors, counting to 120 (and probably more), writing her own name at 3 years of age, writing other words (with mistakes), speaks clearly in complex sentences, knows all the seasons, all the months and the birthdays of many people and has relatively clear understanding of time. She once asked me, "Was it when I was 3 years old? Perhaps in April?", which is awesome because her birthday is in May. She has no problem with object shapes and sizes and so on. As is typical of gifted children, she is several ages at the same time. Physically 4 years old, emotionally 3 years old, math abilities of an 8 year old, reading and writing of a 5-6 year old, text comprehension of a 4 year old and vocabulary of a 8-9 year old. I'm very proud of her.  But then it's all the more unexpected when a kid like that throws a major tantrum over her straw being bent by someone other than herself. 

It must be very difficult for her to understand so much about the world. She asks very big questions about life and death, people and the world. I give her the honest answer and never lie to her. Well okay, I sometimes tell an inconsequential white lie to avoid a tantrum and then I feel guilty about it. When she asks why children aren't supposed to drink alcohol, I tell her the truth, when she asks what would happen if she drank pure vinegar, I give her a simplified but truthful answer. I find that when I tell her the truth about life, she feels curious and easily cooperates with me. When I give her a muddled half-response, she looks discouraged from asking anything at all. Some topics I do refuse to discuss with her. As far as she is concearned, children just appear in women's bellies and they somehow get out and for a long time Erkki occasionally went out of the apartment to just stand on the balcony for no good reason. Now she has already figured out that Erkki smokes but I won't tell about sex before she either asks or it appears that she has heard some false information about it.

Liisa is very different from Siiri. She is super easy to raise as long as we manage to keep her alive. She falls asleep without rocking, she eats just about anything and loves everything sweet and tasty.   Also, like Siiri, she loves vegetables and that's the first thing she eats off her plate. She's 1.8 years old and she eats with a fork or a spoon without a problem. She can even eat soup and doesn't spill much. When she's thirsty, she goes to the table, picks up her glass of water, drinks and puts it back. Liisa talks very little and barely makes a difference between letters. Like when I say, "Liisa, say EEEEE", she says AAAA, I say EEE, she looks at me like "that's what I said" and repeats AAA. Our nanny hasn't really tried to teach her the alphabet and I think it shows. Now I want to spend more time with Liisa to teach her the alphabet so she might start to hear the difference between the letters.

Liisa doesn't talk but she understand what we say. When I tell her that we're considering going out to play, she jumps up, grabs her shoes, point to the front door and yells, "Yes!". Also, she's very straightforward. When she wants to eat a cucumber, she grabs it and bites in the middle, even when the cucumber is covered with a plastic wrap. I also just found a pod of peas with bite marks on it, but the peas were still intact. This sort of impulse-directed behavior could also be just an age-related trait but it comes very naturally to her. It also leads her straight to danger. She has opened the car door twice while we were driving 90 km/h on a freeway  before we figured out how the child safety lock works.  Liisa is still absolutely addicted to my braid. Holding on to my braid while sucking on her thumb relaxes her in seconds. It still sometimes surprises me how effective my braid is at calming her. 

Although Liisa doesn't talk, she says some words and calls many animals by the sound that they make or she names activites by other means. I don't count them as words but I guess they are oficially counted as well. Her words are (so I can read in the future): mommy, daddy, cat (mjau), dog (auh), lion (rhhhou), elephant (brhhhou), frog (crooowk), mouse (iip-iip), wolf (auuuuuu), car/driving (v-v-v-v), ice cream (noisy licking sound), eating (nom-nom) drinking (sipping sound), sleeping (heavy exhaling), hurting (blowing in air: phh-phh-phh). We have also heard her say: Liisa, Siiri, sun, thank you, give me, into water. 

Liisa has a very fun personality. One day I was still at the computer when Liisa wanted to go to bed. She yelled from another room, "Mommy! Mommy!" and then it was quiet. I was washing the dishes and she didn't sound the least bit distressed. Then I heard an insistent but somewhat muffled repeat, "Mommy, Mommy!". A moment of silence and then again, "Mommy-Mommy-Mommy". Okay, fine. "Liisa, I'm coming." But Liisa was nowhere to be seen. "Liisa... Where are you?". I figured that Liisa wants to hint that she's sleepy so I checked the bedroom. It was completely quiet but it seemed like there was a kid-sized bump under the blanket. I fake-yelled, "Liisa, where are you?" and heard quiet but merry giggling coming from under the blanket.  She tried to be very quiet but was so proud of being so well hidden that she kept bursting into fits of giggling. Now whenever she goes missing around bed time I look for her under various blankets.

Siiri and Liisa both seem introverted and they enjoy solitary play. It's a good thing because household chores take a lot of time and it seems like they use that time to recharge themselves mentally. Siiri definitely needs her quiet alone time but it seems like Liisa also needs a lot of quiet time between her social play time. Siiri is most probably socionics type INTp - kind of grumpy and very introspective - and Liisa seems like IxFx. Liisa is very positive and totally wreckless and absolutely devious. She goes and surprises Siiri with hugs to make Siiri run away yelling, "Mom! Liisa is hugging me! Make her stop!" while Liisa is hoping that Siiri forgets to take iPad with her, so that Liisa can take it from her. They are so cute.