Raising Pink

I just got back from the movies where I saw Clash of the Titans in 3D. Yes indeed! They finally upgraded one cinema to 3D here. It was a surprise for me. I simply wanted to go to the movies and when I checked the time table, Clash of the Titans was marked as 3D. Well actually I had read that the cinema announced they were going 3D but they announced it on April 1st and I thought it was an unusually cruel April Fools joke. I saw the movie with several friends and when the movie had ended I felt really positive about it. I loved the adventure story, I enjoyed the cast, music was amazingly thrilling, 3D was really cool and I truly enjoyed the fairy-tale-like drama. I mean, it doesn't get much more dramatic than this: Save the princess and defeat the monster! To my surprise, my friends thought it was a really pointless movie with amazing action scenes. It didn't seem at all pointless to me, which could mean two things: first, being a mother and not having time to read the news has really dumbed me down. What seems pointless to others is fun and entertaining to me. Second, it could mean I need to go to the movies more often! Or perhaps, as I just realized, it could simply mean that among my friends, I love drama and fairy tales the most.

In this fairy tale they even had Pegasuses, which is almost as cute as unicorns. I still remember how mesmerised I was when I saw unicorns in Legend (with Tom Cruise). I'm not much of a horse person. Horses eat with their mouth open and they crap where they eat. Normal animals have the decency to dig a hole or at least they move a bit further from where they live but horses just don't care. In that sense, horses are about as cool and amazing as cows! Still, for some reason horses are one of many girly symbols. I would understand talk about the prince who arrive on the horse, but little girls are really interested in the horses themselves. Or better yet, ponies. I used to assume it was peer pressure, until I noticed that Siiri likes horses a lot. She hasn't been around other little girls who are enthusiastic about horses. It's almost as if horses automatically trigger girly "It's so cute, can I keep it?"-response. Siiri also likes pink and anything that glitters. She is extremely fond of glittering tiaras. Siiri seems to be even more girly than I am! I can just imagine a room decorated with pink and fluffy furniture; toy ponies and fairy tale symbolics everywhere.

I recently bought Siiri a new spring outdoors clothing set and it's VERY PINK! When we go out, Siiri is as pink as it gets from head to toe and it suits her so well. Gender-neutral colors just aren't the way to go. With children's clothing the choices are: girly, boyish and ugly. Anything that isn't clearly meant for either boys or girls is a random mix of brown and green. I normally like green and I could have kept buying it for Siiri but lets be honest, green just isn't her color! Pink works with her complexion so much better.

I do understand the entire issue of raising our daughters to be self confident women who stand up for what they deserve in this patriarchal society. I understand that there is a theory about the negative effects fairy tales have on girls and how girls shouldn't be taught to wait for some prince to rescue them. I've even heard that little girls and boys are treated differently from very early age. Girls are treated like small fragile dolls while boys are playfully wrestled with. I do agree that girls should be raised with great self worth, so they do what they like, in stead of what our society tells them to do, and boys should be raised so that they can do (some) girly things if they REALLY want to. The right way to raise gender-unbiased children isn't by dressing our children so that no one can tell what IT is. Girls are still girls and boys are still boys. Dressing a baby as IT might mean that IT gets no gender influenced treatment but my goal isn't to have Siiri treated as some undefined IT.

Also, one thought that always argues in my favor - if we had had a son, would Erkki and all our feministically-inclined friends think it's okay to occasionally dress him up in a pink dress and let her play with dolls? That would be plain freaky! Very sick! Parents who dress their baby son in a pink dress need to get their head examined. Such false gender treatment could lead to an inability to find friends in school. Yet Siiri has worn clothing that is clearly made for boys and she has played with toy cars. How much further do I let it go? Should I also deprive her of fairy tales and little pony figurines? No! Siiri, as a little girl, has a right to as much pink and glitter as she could possibly want.



There must be a way to still raise Siiri to have a high self worth as a female. Perhaps I'll read her the story of Snow White and then later comment on how she married the prince way too fast without even knowing him! Anyway, whats wrong with teaching Siiri that she should never lose hope no matter how bleak life seems? Bad luck can turn into good luck and everything will turn out well in the end.