Tall Like Us

"Oh they grow up so fast" is something that people in movies and forums say all the time. I'm not sure if that's true. The first two months with Siiri lasted FOREVER. Like really: sleepless nights, getting used to feeding all the time, still trying to maintain some level of activity at home and also social activity. Siiri was a very calm kid but it was tough with the night-time feedings and I sometimes lived for my daily cup of coffee. It was the best moment of each day. Well of course it was great to observe the early development of a baby and the first smiles and her cute struggles to lift her head, but it was always better after I had had my coffee. I remember being very sleepy. Now with Liisa I don't even notice the night-time feedings most of the time. I fall asleep while feeding and put her in bed when I wake up.

The perception of time has been very different with the second child. Weeks just whooosh past me in a blur of multitasking. I sometimes see social events being announced in Facebook and it feels too inconvenient to actually try to attend them. I did go to the events that I really wanted to go to and I don't have much regrets about other events. I do miss movie nights but there really haven't been many good movies lately so it's not a huge loss. What's important is that I don't feel left out. I kinda miss playing role-playing-games (e.g. Dungeons and Dragons) but I really can't imagine how I could do that at the moment. Maybe in a couple of years. Or maybe just short one-session games that don't demand any weekly commitment.

The perception of child's growth had definitely been different with Liisa. With Siiri, as was expected with a firstborn,  I was constantly observing everything. I mentioned to Erkki when I thought Siiri had grown another centimeter, I observed how Siiri played with toys , I counted how many seconds she can hold her head, I fussed about every time Siiri cried loudly and tried to figure out the cause. With Liisa, I just take it easy and just make sure she looks healthy and seems to enjoy her life. She seemed to be growing quite a lot but we had no idea how much because me or Erkki never bothered to measure or weigh her before her first doctor's visit. The nurse finally weighed her and she had grown 5 cm and 1 kg in her first month. That's a lot. The two-month measurements we had to do ourselves because there are no vaccine shots at that age and there was no reason to take her to the doctor's. During her second month she grow another 5 cm and gained another 1,4-1,5 kg. No wonder Liisa keeps growing out of her clothes. She's as tall as Siiri was at three months. Liisa feels very strong.

While Liisa is getting bigger, I am getting smaller. I lost 8 kg in the first month and another 3 in the second month. Out of the 18 kilos, it's 11 down and 7 to go. I'm currently still on the weight loss trend so I expect to reach my normal weight soon enough. I'm also using some of my free moments to do achievements in the physical games of Xbox Kinect which is quite a workout.

One thing that hasn't changed is my dislike for walking the baby like it's a dog or something. Daily walks shouldn't be a social obligation in a place as cold as Estonia. It easily takes over an hour to coordinate the clothing and feedings and diaper-changing to get two kids outside... so I could carefully walk around with them, making sure no one gets hit by a car or falls in the water or steps on dog poop. I only do it for Siiri's entertainment. I was going to take them outside again today and I was guilt tripping about not having the energy to start getting us ready for the ugly cold and wet outdoors but then I realized it was already close to noon, I had been awake for 4 hours and I still hadn't made it to eating my breakfast (a truly rare occurrance) and according to schedule I was already supposed to start preparing lunch. Soon after lunch it would be Siiri's bedtime. I was relieved I didn't have time to go outside.

Schedule is one thing I didn't have when I was at home with Siiri. I ate whatever I could whenever I wanted. Mostly fruit and fairly healthy snacks and then dinner with Erkki. With Siiri that's not enough. She really does get three warm meals per day: porridge in the morning, last night's leftovers for lunch and a proper dinner all together in the evening. It would be stupid of me not to eat with her so I do get to eat regular healthy meals and it makes a world of difference in how I feel emotionally and physically.

Despite all the hassle of sticking to Siiri's schedule and making sure she's enjoying her life, I really enjoy having her around. I know conversations with a 2.5-year old aren't very complicated but it's still much more fulfilling than checking the messenger every two hours to see if any of my friends has time to chat a little bit and going to an internet forum when all my friends are doing something useful. Besides, it's actually very nice to explain the world to Siiri. I especially enjoy describing which casual-looking household items could kill her and how.

By the way, my paranoia about online Xbox is very much justified. I finished all the missions and all the achievements in Assassin's Creed Brotherhood, except for the multiplayer part. I couldn't leave it at that so I made a 3-month purchase to get online access for my Xbox account with Xbox Gold Membership. I got right at it. When the kids were asleep, I logged in to multiplayer and spent 40 minutes getting used to the gameplay. Then Erkki came into the room and I we started preparing dinner so I logged out. The next day Liisa was asleep and Siiri was playing on her own so I logged in. I played a 10-minute match and I was about to start another one but noticed that whenever Siiri says something (and she talks quite a lot), my player's name has a sound icon. I wasn't using any headphones and no one else was using them either! I replied to Siiri, and again there was the sound icon. I frantically started looking for options but then panicked and just turned off the console. As it turns out, Kinect has a built-in microphone and as soon as I logged into multiplayer, it started broadcasting my living room sounds to seven strangers! Oh my God I feel my privacy was so violated. And I feel embarrassed because in AC Brotherhood it's not possible to turn off the sounds of someone else's microphone. Someone had to put up with some casual Estonian conversation between me and Erkki and some Siiri's ranting, but that's about it.

Despite the privacy issue, I still have achievements to get, so I turned off Kinect and joined the multiplayer of the new Assassin's Creed Revelations. Other players there are just as new at the game as I am and it's much more fun this way. Surprisingly, it's so easy to get addicted to the unpredictable nature of online gaming and I have made very little progress with the single player part of the game. Soon I'll have all the achievements of AC Revelations multiplayer and I can get back to the story part of the game.