Glass of Water

If I ask you, "is the glass half full or half empty, you will probably say "it's half full" because that's the learned answer. Everyone knows that it's wrong to point out the negative. How about we give it another try. Quick, think of the answer before you continue reading, "Describe winter!". Remember the first words that popped into your head. Did you think of soft beautiful snow or the cold moist wind? Do you see winter as a wonderful season with lots of holidays or a wonderful opportunity to slip on ice and get hurt. For me, the first word I thought of, was "cold, blizzard, being indoors cuddled up in a warm blanket". This includes the problem with winter and a solution to the problem.

I'm a very negative person and I can't change it. I didn't really notice it until I was already in the university. I met so many new people and I talked about old and new topics and I realized that people actually have such different personalities. It seems like an obvious thing, but during school years I was too busy trying to conform to the majority mindset to really understand my own personality. Some people are always positive, no matter what the topic is. It's almost like they live in a different world where the reality is fundamentally different.

I like to think of myself as an energetic and ambitious person but when I have a discussion with someone, I tend to energetically say the most negative things possible. It's horrible! Even when I say something positive, it is often really something negative in disguise. "I love this cereal, it doesn't get as soggy as most of them!", "It's so warm outside ... that all the snow has turned into mud", "This is one of my favorite shirts, too bad I don't have anything to wear it with.". I've tried to stop myself but I can't. Even when I'm in a really positive mood, I'll just have better control over what I say out loud.

It's a weakness and a strength but mostly it's just really annoying. I even annoy myself with it. Can't imagine how others put up with it. It actually makes me less able to go along with new ideas. I notice the potential problems way sooner than the potential gains. Initially I'm usually very pessimistic and trying really hard to hide it and keep an open mind. After a while I have finished thinking about the problems and the possible solutions and I'll realize that it actually is a good idea. Or I'll be stuck on a small problem and I need someone else to point out that the potential gains are still worth it. This sort of negativity doesn't even make me unique or special in any way either, as about 50% of people are really like that.

In the first year of university when I realized that all people are different, I became obsessed with personality theories. And yes, it seems I am always obsessed about something - food, nutrition, extreme embroidery, personalities, reading, drawing, hair, kids, etc. Most of my obsessions pass after a while and leave something behind. Being obsessed with personality theories was one of the biggest obsessions in my life, perhaps even worse than nutrition. Actually I was planning to be a psychologist when I graduated high school but the competition was too tough. Among other things I learned from my obsession that one of the personality dichotomies of Grigoriy Reinin divides people into two groups:  positivists and negativists (that's how they were translated to English).  Roughly half of all people are the "glass is half empty" kind of people whether they like it or not. Well, I don't like it. I think it would be better to think about all the positive stuff first but the best that I can do is to try and hide it better.

I should also mention that being a negativist is not the same as being a pessimist. I notice the negative stuff so I can ensure that I avoid them on my journey to a positive future. Like when I bake a cake, I'm convinced that it will turn out delicious (otherwise I wouldn't waste my time) but while I'm baking it, I'm constantly thinking about the possible ways I could ruin it so that I can avoid them. It's a kind of skepticism which can be very useful but unfortunately can't be turned off.

If half of all people are really skeptical like that then perhaps some of you recognized yourself in this post. Perhaps this personality trait isn't so obvious in my general writing style but that's because I usually write about things after I have already formed an opinion about. My first thought might be negative but when I finish my contemplation, my opinion is rather balanced between positive and negative.

Also, being a negativist doesn't make me any less self-absorbed as we can see from this totally egocentric blog post.

PS! Kids are doing great. Liisa holds her head really well and already tries to crawl. I haven't told her that she won't be able to do that until she's 5-6 months old. Siiri has reached her terrible twos and she gets really demanding in the middle of the night. I'm still planning on writing a longer post about that in the near future so I'll leave it at that.