Morons Slap

Violence is fun only in movies and video games. In real life, violence only suits criminals and morons. Absurd how many people think that good children can only be raised with physical punishment. Recently there was a lot of public debate about a new law that would forbid hitting children. I was surprised that this debate was very balanced. It almost seemed that some soft idealistic politicians are trying to introduce a stupid new law and then "normal" people are trying to talk sense into them. Politicians say, "With fear and violence you can't raise good people." and then people said, "but if my kid does a bad deed and I can't even punish him, he will turn into a crook!".

Whenever I hear such talk, that children NEED to be physically punished , I get really angry. It is unfortunate that some parents are only able to think that punishing a child involves a leash and a crying and fearful child. If a parent raises their child with a leash, they deserve to get beat up in the street. It's not very different: a stronger person beats up the weaker person for some obscure reason. Okay, I will admit that most of the time parents THINK that they have a good reason for beating their kid, but I'm saying that almost always the reason isn't good enough.

I imagine that there must be an enormously huge reason that gives cause for beating a child. I don't mean that there is cause when a kid behaves very badly one day and breaks something in rage. I mean, if a kid gets caught dissecting a live frog for fun or torturing another human being and laughing maniacally , this could be reason enough to give the kid a punishment to remember. Or perhaps one should consider, what would the beating help?! Perhaps even then it would be better to start visiting a psychiatrist and find a way to help the child before he becomes a serial murderer.

Beating is a harsh punishment and maybe I shouldn't generalize that all physical punishment is the same as violently beating a kid up. Some people say that beating a child is wrong but children are best disciplined with a short strong tap on the wrist. Well, is that okay? Hell no! Imagine your boss in your workplace used this against you. Whenever you break one of his hundred little rules, he slaps you! "I told you not to leave your coffee cup in the sink! *SLAP*". That's just degrading and it's wrong and disrespectful. Then why would it be okay when it involves a small helpless child who is prone to forgetting such little rules? It's much worse because he can't even report you to the police for constant violence.

A friend of mine said that that a lack of physical punishment doesn't necessarily mean that children get a good up-bringing, and that constant mental humiliating would be much worse than an occasional physical punishment. I agree with this. Indeed it is even worse when a parent constantly degrades and belittles their child, "you're so stupid, you can't do anything right, you'll never be anyone important". However, I don't imagine it's possible to pass a law: Don't Be An Asshole Toward Your Children.

I've voiced these opinions in some form before in this same blog, so I hope it doesn't seem repetitive, but in all honesty, this opinion deserves to be voiced again. Anything that's repeated enough times becomes more true. I really wish more people would see this child violence issue like I see it and it's nice to think that this blog post could convince people whose opinion still wavers.

Or perhaps all people who read this blog already agree with me. All the people that have ever mentioned that they have read this blog are way above average smart. I can't really imagine any of them thinking that the only way to discipline their child is by causing them pain. And all the people I have ever discussed this topic with, have said that they are against violence. So who are all those morons who are openly against a law that forbids physical punishment of small helpless children?! It's like with a populist Estonian political party Keskerakond: they get hundreds of thousands of votes each time but when you start asking around, you can't find anyone who voted for them. There are hundreds of thousands of Estonians who think it's okay to beat a helpless child but when you start asking around, no one will admit they share that view.

If you think that it's not "small helpless children" who need a good beating, then consider that big and strong people don't get beat up. People who are subjects of physical punishment are helpless by definition, because if they could help it, they wouldn't get beat up.

I know Siiri is very young and it's usually a bit older children who "need a good beating", but I'm still sure it would take a lot for me to change my views on this issue. Siiri is exactly in the age when she can barely understand the rules but it is impossible to make her understand why she should follow them. Because mommy says so will only help as long as she's in a good mood and very cooperative. In a bad mood she breaks one rule after another - pulls on the curtain, pats the window glass and plays with Xbox game DVD boxes. Sometimes when I'm not well rested I get quite annoyed after a while. It's not easy to tell something again and again and again and again . It sometimes seems like a short tap on the wrist could be much more effective and it would save a lot of effort. What holds me back is the idea how furious I would be if a person I trust and love - my husband - would deliberately hit me to teach me a lesson. I can't imagine him ever doing that, and I don't want my child ever to imagine that I could do that to her.

I'm not sure if that law was passed or not but I really hope it was. Anyway, thanks for listening to the rant and have a nice non-violent day.