She Knows!

It was quite inconvenient for baby to be fussy last Thursday. I wished to get a good night's sleep before my Bodypump weightlifting but baby kept waking up frequently the entire morning and spent half the day in my arms. The next day I had plans to go out pubbing for a little while and the same happened - baby kept waking up often and was quite hard to please during the day. She was perfectly happy sleeping on my shoulder but the moment I put her down, she woke up and started sobbing. I picked her up and she fell asleep in seconds. I thought it was kinda cute for her to be so quickly soothed by physical contact from me. She didn't cry much. All I had to do was to pick her up and she immediately felt better.

I slept well during the weekend and I was looking forward to having lots of energy for my Monday Bodycombat but the same happened. Baby woke up unusually frequently and needed a lot of affection. I was carrying her around for the entire day and ended up feeling exhausted before my evening of Bodycombat even started. Better luck on Thursday, I thought. But then Thursday came and it was the same! I spent the day with one shoulder "occupied". It was more than just chance - it was clear she knows exactly when I have plans to go out in the evening! So does that make her psychic? Hardly. It just means she's amazingly perceptive for her age. She has figured out that when I pump milk, she's the one who will be drinking it later!

It's not very realistic to pump 2 meals worth of milk while the baby is already eating a full meal. Hence, I start pumping during the night. The baby sees or hears it and gets really clingy right after. That's why the odd behavior starts during the night. Fortunately she doesn't have any reaction to me leaving the apartment so I guess she hasn't yet realized the significance of me exiting through the front door in my outdoor shoes and saying "Bye". She also doesn't have any reaction to me not being around when she gets hungry and she's perfectly okay when someone feeds her from a bottle. She doesn't even seem to act differently when I've been gone for 3 hours straight. Her odd behaviour continues when I return home.

I walk in the door and the moment my baby sees me she's really happy. No matter when she had her last meal, she always asks for food soon after I arrive. I feed her and then I know she noticed I was gone because she eats differently. One time she was pouting and avoiding eye contact! Another time she gave me a long frowning stare. Yet another time she was overjoyed and kept playing and making me smile at her, which was unusual after a very long day of clingy unhappy baby. Remember, I'm not talking about a toddler who knows exactly how to show different emotions. I'm talking about a two and a half month old baby who only recently learned to show any facial expressions deliberately. Whatever her exact behavior after my return may be, she wants me to confirm that I haven't abandoned her. I spend the evening being especially affectionate toward her and she is especially eager to receive that affection.

I hope she'll soon understand that whenever I leave for a while I'll come back soon enough. And as long as baby doesn't cry non-stop while I'm gone the joy of exercising is worth the trouble of making baby worry. I'm simply going to have to get used to the baby being attached to me until I go to the sports club and I have to be prepared to make up for the away-time after I'm back.