Second Birth

When I wrote my last post and thought I might be going in to labor, I actually already was in labor. I arrived in the hospital a little later and I was checked by a midwife. Contractions started at 8:30 a.m. and at 12 at noon I was at 4 cm. That is pretty damn good. Cervix goes from 0 to 10 cm before the baby can be pushed out and the speed increases in time. The first centimeters can take weeks and the last centimeters can even take mere minutes in some cases. Last time it must have taken about 30 hours for my cervix to get to 4 cm so on Friday I felt like I had already skipped a lot of labor time and it really can't take very long to get to the big finish.

Erkki arrived to the hospital half an hour later because he waited for the babysitter to arrive. We arranged for Siiri to spend the day with the babysitter and the weekend with Erkki's parents. I have repeatedly warned Siiri that this will happen in the near future so I really think she won't be too shocked to spend a few days without seeing her parents. Siiri will be okay and she'll see us when we come home from the hospital with her little sister.

Unfortunately, I sure did choose a bad day to give birth because it was nearly a full house. I was expecting a birth room with all the comforts that I remembered from last time - from bathtub to a large rubber ball but all I got was some small room with a bed, a small bathroom with shower and a wall covered with a practical cupboard for midwife tools. "We're out of bigger rooms. There are so many women giving birth today." I immediately asked about about the family room for after birth, so that Erkki could stay the night, and the midwife said she can't make any promises. This was just a friendly nurse who happened to be there. My hired midwife arrived soon after and immediately got to work. She got me the rubber ball that I asked for and got me in line for one of the better birth rooms with a tub. One woman had already given birth and I just had to wait for the two hours after birth to pass and for janitors to clean the room. My midwife was really bad-ass when it comes to organizing such stuff. Soon after we talked, she excused herself to the hallway and I heard her tell someone, "She wants a ball..." and I could swear her vocal tone added, "...and you're gonna find one for her RIGHT NOW." .

Anyway, I spent a couple of hours in that small room and I was using all the old tricks for relieving contractions. I paced around the room rubbing my back and my stomach, I swung from side to side on the ball and I waddled my hips to distract myself from the increasingly painful cramping. Erkki timed my contractions and you know what, they were REALLY irregular. 2 minutes, 3 minutes, 4 minutes, 2 minutes, 6 minutes. Whenever there was a pattern, it soon disappeared. Eventually it was around 3 minutes for a while and the contractions were hard to ignore. Me and Erkki calculated when we'll see the baby. Taking into account the last known dilation of the cervix and the statistics that in repeat pregnancies it opens 2 cm in an hour, I should be fully dilated by 3 o'clock and we'll see the baby at 5 or 6 at the latest.

At 3 o'clock I was moved to the bigger birth room and the midwife inspected me. "I have to tell you, it isn't going fast at all. It's at 5 or 6 cm and the amniotic sack is completely tight and won't let the baby's head pressure the cervix to open any wider. We might end up having to puncture it so it doesn't stop the birth process.". So much for being completely dilated at 3 o'clock. We agreed that I'll spend some time in the tub and if that doesn't help then we'll decide how to proceed. The bath took a long time to be filled and finally at 3:45 I got in.

I had a serious talk with the midwife. It turns out I had quite missed the entire point of labor pains. I had kept reading and reading how it's the only "meaningful" pain that exists. It helps the woman in labor understand what she has to do to make labor safer and better. By doing "what feels right", the woman can make labor much more effective and less painful. Actually, what feels right is to do anything that reduces the pain. And since the pain is caused by the head of the baby pressing down on the cervix, it feels very right to tighten up everything below that area and making sure the head can't press down very strongly. That's what I did - I didn't realize it myself but I tightened up to reduce the pain. The bathtub helps because it relaxes the body and promotes labor. So from the moment I got into that bathtub, I tried my best to just go limp whenever I felt a contraction. And I mean totally limp. If it was a yoga position, it would be called, "play dead".

So there I was, lying in the huge bathtub inside a floatation aid and looking absolutely miserably fed up. I tried different positions and I tried to stick with the ones that hurt most but it was so damn uncomfortable. Initially Erkki could read me some daily news to keep my mind occupied but pretty soon I wasn't into it anymore. By the time I was completely lethargic, the midwife walked in and told us that I'll soon come out of the tub and then... "What do you mean out?" , I asked, being surprised and confused. So my midwife explained that it's policy that I can only be in the bathtub for one and a half hours and then I have to be out for one and a half hours before I can get back in. It felt quite uncomfortable to think that I would have to start supporting my own weight again. My midwife gave me another half an hour (which would actually exceed the policy time by fifteen minutes) and started to walk out again but I wanted some more feedback about positions and pain management so she stayed a little longer when I suddenly had some really weird jolts in my abdomen.

WHAT WAS THAT?! And then I felt it again. Like some sort of spasms. "I think I feel like pressing! Somethings wrong! I can't possibly be fully dilated yet! What's happening?!" The midwife started rambling something about "don't be afraid. Go with it!" and I was trying to hold back and to get her to tell me if I might be dilated. I even proposed that she should check just to make sure the urge to press isn't premature. I had read that when that happens, the woman might press too early and the cervix might tear. I sure did not want that to happen. Midwife kept telling me not to be afraid and I kept pressing her for information until she finally told me that being in water might indeed have been such a birth enhancer for me that it's totally realistic that I'm ready to push the baby out. So that's what I tried to do.

At first I tried to "breathe the baby out" like I had read was possible but it felt so uncomfortable to hold myself back so I tried very slowly to let the body push it out without much active pushing. Then I just really wanted to help along and suddenly blop - the water broke. And then the baby started moving as well and 3 minutes later I pushed and screamed (yeah, just like in the movies) and the baby was born. The entire pushing phase only took 12 minutes and it was all so confusingly sudden. I didn't even have the time or the will to get out of the tub so it was a water birth. Everything was really confusing for a while with getting out of the bath and all the procedures but there she was - a small girl with straight black hair. That's an interesting phenotype from Erkki's side of the family. Siiri also had that and now her hair is strawberry blond and curly. And it was quite deja vu because she looks really similar to Siiri. The same nose, similar eyes, same lips.

All in all, it was a very successful birth. Despite the fast ending I didn't need any stitches. Baby's apgar score was 9 and she even cried a little. Weight 3656 g and length 51 cm. A totally adorable bundle of joy. Less than two hours later I sat on the side of the bed and ate. In the evening I was already walking around, unlike the last time when I was only able to eat, sleep and feed for days.

We decided to name her Liisa Nele. I really thought she would be a joyfully energetic contrast to the contemplative and decisive Siiri but I swear Liisa looks even more serious and adult-like. Only time will tell how she'll turn out.

Oh, and we did get the family room so that me and Erkki could spend 3 nights in the hospital getting to know Liisa and to give her some quiet time to memorize our faces.

PS! Sorry for the typos and the lack of emoticons. I wrote it on iPad and this doesn't even have a Ctrl button for easy copying or arrows to move around in the text.

PPS! *post edited later*