Always a Solution

Whenever a baby cries and you can rule out hunger and diaper, she obviously has gas pain. Colic, as people call it. My baby has never had a problem with that so gas pain would be among the last things I would suspect when she cries. Until yesterday.

Her growth spurt ended and her eating pattern went pretty much back to normal. And then got even worse for no apparent reason. She was hungry, but she just wouldn't eat. Or when she ate, it was only for about 3 minutes of desperate engorging and then she let go only to desperately ask for food an hour later. She cried each time she woke up and it was impossible to soothe her. It wasn't just sad crying. It was total and utter distress. Her little world was falling apart and I couldn't help her in any way. Obviously her small meals are giving her indigestion and she must be suffering from horrible gas pain! So last night me and Erkki tried several ways of burping her but nothing helped.

We swaddled her in cloth, shhhhhed her, held her in a sideways position and jiggled her for comfort. She calmed down for a moment and then started crying again. She kept giving us false hints! She showed us she was hungry but she refused to eat! Actually it was quite weird that when I offered her food she started crying even more desperately than before. Eventually I found a feeding position she was okay with and I got her to eat and then she fell asleep.

Pfffff... So THAT's how kids are after the first 2 weeks of grace period... Oh THAT's why people say that it's difficult to take care of infants; so far it had been fun and simple. OKAY then I just have to make sure I stay strong and I don't let it stress me out. Poor colic baby. AWWWwwwww...

After such a strenuous evening it felt good to finally get under the blanket. Erkki gave me a good-night kiss and then asked, "what's that scent?". So I said, "You mean my new skin lotion?" and he told me, "It completely masks your natural scent.". And that was a total DUH!-moment. My kid was put off by the wrong scent.So basically I did the same mistake for the second time now, at least with different lotions. I didn't realize the kid was unable to smell me so she didn't recognize me. I took a quick late-night shower to wash off the lotion. After that my kid was HEALED from her "gas pain" like magic! When I had thought she was in distress because she was in pain, she had actually been in distress because mommy had gone missing and some strange lady was trying to offer her food. She really wanted to eat but not from this strange lady!

She ate properly at night. Unfortunately after all this stress with eating she now starts crying in the middle of her meals. She has been doing it a lot today. I think I have a solution for that as well.

There's a book that me and Erkki both have been reading a lot lately: "Kooskasvamine" ("Growing Together"; was never translated from Swedish to English) by Anna Wahlgren . My sister lent it to me when I got pregnant. It's about raising children so now I've been reading the parts about infants. The author's says that all children are born with a very strong anxiety that they are not going to survive; anxiety that they will not receive enough food. And as long as you don't get rid of this anxiety the child will not be able to enjoy anything else in life. That's why the first rule of infant care is this: Give her FOOD!!

The author is a mother of 9 children and she has a theory that colic baby syndrome is a psychosomatic illness. The child wakes up hungry and anxious, worried about survival. Parents go to her, then they check the diaper, then they give her a wash, then they find new clothes... Meanwhile the child cries louder and louder. Then parents finally feed her and by that time the poor little thing is in such distress already that she frantically tries to eat as fast and and much as possible. But she eats too fast and swallows a lot of air so she feels full long before she has consumed enough milk. Then she has a short nap and wakes up still hungry. Parents say, "but she just ate" so they cuddle her and console her but they don't give her food. The next meal is even worse because the kid is now even hungrier than before. The doctor prescribes medicine and parents still don't feed her enough to help her get rid of this anxiety for survival. Eventually the theoretical illness becomes a reality and the kid starts to have stomach pains from constantly swallowing too much air and eating too little. And this is how colic babies are created.

From what I've seen so far, I think she is absolutely right. Sure there are babies who really are colic from the start, and there are babies who cry even from the feeling of having a bubble that needs to come out. But for most babies - if you feed them when they want and as much as they want, you will have a happy baby. You can help them get rid of their survival anxiety and you can enjoy parenting.

From the beginning I have been feeding my child as often as she could ever dream of. She was happy and relaxed. But ever since the growth spurt began there have been so many times when she starts to cry already and I think, "but maybe it's the diaper. Or perhaps she needs to be burped. Or maybe she feels too warm.". And I check all these things first because SHE JUST ATE!!! She can't possibly be hungry! Therefore I now have a baby who cries when it's time to eat even when I do offer her food. But I'm glad I have a theory how I can fix this - I will offer her food immediately each time she wakes up and each time she gives the hungry-hint. And I'll be damned if she won't be the same old happy baby within a few days!!! And I won't be using any body lotions any time soon...