Instead I had a strong feeling that me And Erkki are responsible for the comfort and well-being of this child. It is up to us that she is happy and healthy.After labour I slept almost nonstop all through Sunday and half of Monday. I was so pale and worn out I wasn't able to stand for more than a minute. And even then I was really dizzy. I managed to walk to the bathroom and back but not to the corridor. We had a family room with a double bed and an infant bed. I sometimes woke up with the baby doing distressed noise, Erkki then lifted her beside me and I breast-fed her. Eating seemed to come very naturally to her. Even from the first feeding she latched on very fast and wouldn't let go until she was finished about half an hour later.
Now we've had the baby for 6 days and you know what - THIS BABY RULES!!!
She's like a little hint-box of happy baby. Her normal state is chill and happy, usually asleep. When she's not happy, she does quiet disgruntled noises. Usually it's accompanied with putting her hands in her mouth and inhaling with sound. Those are hints that say, "I am hungry." If we don't notice, she does "Wuaaaaaaaa" and repeats the hungry-hint. She does this for a few minutes and if we don't feed her, she starts crying. However, the hint is so obvious to spot that by now she reaches the crying phase only at night.
If she does the hungry hint but will not latch on after several tries, she's saying, "I'm hungry, but I will not eat until you change my diaper!". We change the diaper and she's happy for a few seconds and then repeats the hungry-hint saying she's ready to eat now. Sometimes she will instead swirl around uncomfortably and huff and puff until we change her diaper. Then she will be chill and happy again.
If she is fed and has a fresh diaper but she won't fall asleep and behaves uneasily, she needs to be burped. Most of the time she actually burps herself! We do try to help her stay upright when she gives us the burp-face but I don't think we have mastered the trick yet. Hiccups are a great help: hick-burp hick-burp hick-burp.
It seems that's as easy as that. Baby sleeps most of the time, then needs our help with something - food or diaper - and we help her and she's happy again. There are exceptions of course. The most extreme was the first night at the hospital. As soon as we were convinced that everything is okay and turned off the light to go to sleep the baby started crying. We tried feeding her again, checked her diaper a few times, tried ten different ways to burp her and still as soon as we were quiet she started sobbing and sadly crying again. It lasted about three hours. She calmed down for a moment just to start crying again.
Finally we figured out what made her cry - the darkness! As soon as we switched on the light, our baby calmly fell asleep. Fortunately her fear of darkness was just a first night thing. I have been keeping a low-intensity light at night just for convenience. It's easier to get to the baby at night and easier for her to start eating. By now it seems to bother her if the light is too bright at night-time.
Another time she cried for half an hour telling me she wants to eat. But when I started feeding her, she just let go and started crying. She wouldn't even let me calm her down. She pretty much ignored the shhhh-ing and hugging. It almost felt as if she didn't know it was me!
And then I realized what was bothering her! I was wearing my robe which had been in contact with a body lotion that has a VERY strong cocoa butter smell. As soon as the baby latched on to eat she sniffed and let go because I smelled wrong! I threw off the robe and the problem was solved without any delay. Actually I thought of the solution because one morning before my shower she started to feed and stopped for a moment and gave me a REALLY paranoid look. I told her, "start eating, good baby" and she started to eat. Moral - you know you need a shower when your baby smells you and isn't sure it's you. 
I'm trying to stay open to drastic changes. People say that the first two weeks are grace-period. Baby sleeps most of the time and calms down as soon as her basic needs are covered. Real parenting starts from the third week. But as long as that hasn't happened I'm saying that Siiri is the best baby ever!
I am so happy that despite all the difficulties and annoying factors at the hospital, you have found the happiness and satisfaction in this baby-project. At first I was pretty frightened about your story in hospital, now I like to think that most of it might have been due to hormones. Am I right or was it still way too unfriendly and uncomfortable? I suppose I would on no condition like to let go of my husband while starting to give birth any second or day...
ReplyDeleteIf it's any consolation, if I could do it all again, I would still give birth at the hospital. :) There was simply a sequence of unexpected moments and the entire event seemed mostly a challenge of emotions. They wouldn't feed me properly and I couldn't get any sleep... I'm sure things usually go much more smoothly. And most of the people I saw at the hospital were really great, especially considering it's just a job for them. They were helpful and nice. And even the people I had a problem with were helpful in their own way. Too bad their personality was incompatible with mine.
ReplyDeleteAnd don't forget that everyone's labour experience is different. Don't expect yours to have any of the same problems. :) All in all, labour takes less than a day (usually) and it's definitely not the most significant day of parenting. I have more memories of the first bonding moments with my child than I do of labour.